I have this weird theory that Target, instead of simply being a super awesome store that contains an infinite amount of cute/interesting objects, is a sentient being that knows my every thought and provides me with merchandise catered to my every thought and whim.
Take today for instance- I was wandering around in the hat section, where I spend 80% of my time in Target, when I found this fox hat. It’s a fox hat. An honest-to-goodness adorable fox hat. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, drop everything, log off of Tumblr, and go read Looking for Alaska, by John Green. Seriously.) Being the nerdfighter I am, I grabbed it, put it on my head, whisper-yelled “No one can catch the motherfucking fox!!!!!”, and ran off down the aisle, leaving a confused and slightly worried mother behind me.
I bought the hat.
I am now wearing it to study for the colossally terrifying Midterm Week, known at my school as The Week of the Living Dead, and am not planning on taking it off anytime soon. Why?
Because I’m the motherfucking fox, that’s why.